P e r f e c t . .

With those early morning greys and blues,
And the afternoon sun,
With the evening haze and maze,
And the long drives and fun..

With each passing day,
The strings seem to attach more,
But I still feel a little void there,
The way we keep ourselves,
From being that extra little more..

I want it to be perfect,
With no holes or voids,
Showering the Love that is still hidden,
Somewhere deep within..

The State..

This is the state I always wanted to be in,
The state of feeling nothing,
The state of caring for none,
The state of, Oh-I-give-a-damn..!!

Never thought I could do this too,
Never imagined myself to be this way,
But today, here I stand attending it quite easy,
A state that makes me happy, makes me feel content..

Yippie..kudos to the new, transformed Me..!!

From India, with Love..

R.,

You know, though I had Mom with me and my Dad also has been in touch, I always felt like something was missing, Someone was missing. And after so many years of ambush, there you came one fine day out of nowhere and successfully filled that void in my life, in my heart. You're someone whom I can talk to when I'm messed up or when things go wrong; when the whole world seems wrong.
I know you'd be there for me when there would be nobody out there. I know you'd come looking for me when I decide to hide away in my secret lonely corner.
You've been my friend, my mentor. You're like my 'Second father' who will always be there, no matter what..

Though we're not together literally and we'll be staying miles away, our hearts will always be connected through the satellite called 'Love'. Its a promise..

Lots of love, hugs and kisses,
M.

Relationships and all that..

Relationships.

They are something we see and feel everywhere around us all the time. Relationships can exist in any form, between anyone and anything. There is no limit to relationships. They are limitless. They can make you do the craziest, strangest, weirdest and sweetest of things. People can go upto any extent to keep or break relationships.
But have you ever thought for how long can a relationship last.? Have you thought what is the life span or expiry date of a relationship (let it be any, then).? Well, I think every relationship is meant to end, it is meant to cease. Nothing lasts forever. Everything has an expiry date. A relationship too.
In the initial stage, you love everything about the person or thing you're attached to. After a point, you start to like the same things and eventually with time, you start to hate them. 'Love' changes into 'like', and then gets converted into 'hate'. It sort of becomes a love-hate relationship then. Once you enter that phase, the phase where hatred occurs, you have to either decide to stay with it or leave it. If you choose to leave, to walk away, you're a free bird. You're back on track, leading your life your own way. But if you choose to stay, you're trapped in the cage of compromises and adjustments. At one point you feel like leaving, you just want to run away. And at the other, you feel stuck up. That's because you are so used to them that you get scared and start thinking that your life would be nothing without them in it. You feel you won't be able to do anything without them, you won't be able to survive.
But the fact is something else. There's nothing or no-one you can't survive without. Ofcourse, except the essential elements of nature. You're dependent on no human or material. It's just a psychology that we humans are trapped in. We always need someone or something with us to feel supported, loved, cared for. And to fulfill this need, we tend to let go of what we actually want. All of our life is wasted in search of it, in search of something we ourselves choose to leave for something we need.
It goes in search of 'The feeling of Freedom'.

Dhagedu..

Dhagedu..Well, what do I say about her..!
She's one of the few most important and reliable people I have with me. A tiny little girl who has a lot of love in her huge heart. Ofcourse we have had our ups and downs, but never could we let go of each other. No matter what happened between us but in the end, we stood together. Always.

We have spent the best of our times together talking about ourselves, bitching (umm, not bitching actually. We had no time or interest for that.!), hunting for good looking guys, eating out, going to college but not attending a single lecture (we hardly had 2 lectures in a week), going to Dumas earl in the morning to have bhajiyas, sitting at the ovara with our cups of tea/coffee (tea for me, coffee for her), going to our thesis guide for discussions, and much more of such stuff. We have been the queens of madness when together. Anyone who would hear our conversations or observe us closely, would say we were crazy ladies who had nothing else to do in life.!

When we were in college, I never thought how it would be without her; how life would be without her (not literally, ofcourse). Now that we're graduates and we do not meet up on regular basis, I realise how amazing were those times when we were together almost 24x7. We have both turned into working women, staying in different cities. Ofcourse we now meet very often, talk less, chat less.
Though we are not much in touch, I can always feel a connection with her, constant and true. I can feel the bond that was once created. I can feel the silent promise we made, a promise that says we'll always be there for each other. We are like soul sisters. The relationship that we share can not be described in words. All I can say is that the bond will stay forever. We will stay forever.!

"Love you Dhagedu..!!"

The lady who met with a stranger..

“Friendship has no boundaries, needs no explanations or character test and no need to spend more than one evening with a complete stranger to emerge as best friends.”

This chapter started in a freezing, foggy winter morning of December on an almost deserted railway station of Deolali. Deolali is a small town near Nasik. I was to travel back to Surat, my hometown, catching an early morning train. And I, as usual, was already running late.

When I reached the station, I found it almost deserted with only a few localites. I did not see any train there. I said to myself, “Damn, I missed the train”. On the platform, I could only see snowy white fog far away till the horizon. I started panicking and I did not know what to do. I was looking around for help, looking for someone to come and remove me out of the fuss I had created for myself. I wandered on the platform, but found no help. At last, tired and hungry enough, with no energy to do anything further, I sat down on a bench.

There I saw someone coming. I could see a figure coming with a duffel bag, from within the fog, making its way towards me. It seemed like a savior, coming all the way to help me. As it came closer, I could see a man with a well built, staring straight at me. He was a mediocre, average looking man, normal heighted with a long oval face, a sharp nose, a finely done French beard and mid length curly hair. For a moment his look scared me. He had a strange look in his eyes, the kind of look that gave me an uncomfortable feeling. He left me into confusion.

He stopped as he reached near the bench on which I was seated. He looked at me with his mysterious deep gaze, and as my gaze met with his, he started to look away. After a minute or two, he approached me and asked about the train that I had missed (or rather, we had missed). I felt a strange feeling. For so long, I was waiting for someone to come and help me. And when he came (and was also offering his help), I did not want to talk to him. I wanted to ignore a stranger. I was fighting with myself; my mind and my heart. It was difficult for me to decide whether to trust a complete stranger or no, whether to give him the information of me missing the train or no. But there was something about him that made me speak to him. Finally, I informed him I had missed the train and was looking for other alternatives to reach Mumbai. He gave me a couple of options and said that even he was going the same way and suggested that we could travel together till Mumbai. Again, the fight between my mind and heart began. I was continuously thinking whether should I travel with him or no. For once, I thought “No, I should not. How can I trust a stranger who comes just out of nowhere, offering me help?”. Then I thought to myself, “Lady, you do not have any other option than trusting this noble man who’s genuinely trying to help you out. It’s better to go the way he directs you rather than sitting here all alone forever on this deserted station”. I was freaking out..!

I had to decide quickly. I did not have forever to make a choice. And finally, I decided to go with him. We decided to travel together till Mumbai by bus. As we reached the bus depot, we discovered that a bus to Mumbai was ready to depart. We ran like crazy heads to buy our tickets and rushed into the bus. We took our seats and took a deep breath. As we looked at each other, we burst out into laughter. And then without any hesitation or discomfort, our conversation started with “Hello, my name is blah blah.! I’m doing blah blah.!!” Just a simple ‘Hello’ was good enough to start our never ending conversation. We just could not stop; we did not want to stop. And hence, kept talking about things one after the other and so on.

That one incident of my life gave me a new friend, a new companion, a new partner who would stay for life. I made a new relationship which started with strangeness, moved forward with humanity and concern and continues to exist as friendship. A never ending friendship.!!

Strings..

Romance lurks in the most unlikely places..
We move on, make new attachments. But sometimes we hanker for the old friendships, the old loves.

Sometimes I wish I could see the strings through and find out the ones that are attached and the ones with tags that say, 'No strings attached'..